Rainy days are so good for going to Disneyland, there was so few people there. It rained most of the morning, but we came prepared with rain ponchos and just had a great time.
Two years ago, on January 22nd, 2017, I wrote a response to a question on r/asktransgender; “How do you picture your future?” I wrote the following:
I picture myself with my wife, the two of us walking around disneyland together, hand in hand as a lesbian couple, our son and daughter walking alongside us. I’m fully femme in a pleated yellow summer dress and my makeup is right on point. I look fabulous, I’ve lost 170 pounds and am curvy in all the right places. My hair is shoulder length with the same curls that my mother has, but I’ve darkened it a bit and highlighted with a few crimson streaks. I took the day off from work so that we could go to the park on a Tuesday when the lines are shorter.
As we get in line for Pirates (my favorite ride), my wife leans in to me for support and I pull her close. I tell her I love her and she kisses me. A couple in line next to us smile at our love. Then my daughter starts complaining that she has to go potty and my son says hes hungry and we end up getting back out of line because children are awful.
This is a fantasy, it may never become reality. I can only hope that my marriage holds up the way I want it to and the changes in my body do not push my wife away. While accepting I’m trans has given me a new found resolve to lose weight, I have a VERY long path ahead of me and getting there is going to be extremely hard.
We planned our Disneyland visit within one week of the anniversary of this post. I knew what I had to do… I had to get a yellow dress. Scouring Amazon I found several dresses that were alright, but not many that were perfect. My minds eye pictured a sunflower yellow dress with white flowers, A-Line, pleated or ribbed, with a fitted cut around the chest. All I could find were mustard dresses, and some of them were VERY mustard. Finally I found an Annabelle babydoll dress with short sleeves, which is really more of a tunic than a dress. It came in a banana yellow that looked really close to what I pictured, and I ordered it. Well when it arrived the material was so thin and sheer that my bra and leggings showed through the dress. It simply wouldn’t do for disneyland. In the related dresses, however, was another Annabelle, with long sleeves, and this one came in a mustard color that wasn’t too mustard. I ordered it, praying for a better fabric, and my prayer was answered. The dress was perfect for our trip.
I love this dress. I kept the yellow even tho it’s sheer (it’s fine if I wear a white tank under it) and also bought it in Berry. It’s really comfortable, the empire waist looks great on my figure, and the neckline is perfect for me. I paired it with the cross strappy crop top that I found a few weeks earlier, and it made for an awesome look.
Our family had a great day at the park; most of the rides were walk-on or less than ten minute wait, the streets were nice and empty of people, and the food vendors were fast. My daughter got to see several attractions that she’s never been on, including Splash Mountain and Star Tours, both of which she was thrilled with. The new Tropical Hideaway behind the Tiki room has a bunch of new dole whip flavors, and we got this awesome fruit sunday. Parts of the park are under construction in preparation for the Galaxy’s Edge launch (the new Star Wars park).
Before our trip up to Disneyland, Katharine showed me the new ear headbands that they had this year. She knew that she was going to buy the purple ones and I was waffling on if I wanted to get the rainbow ears. I kept thinking “Why spend the money on something you’re only going to wear in the park?” When I put them on and looked in the mirror, I knew I had to buy it, and the reason is because it’s exactly what the old me would never do. This was way too feminine for the guy disguise to tolerate, too silly, too emasculating. Even tho I despised toxic masculinity, I was still subject to it and Mikey Mouse Ears was definitely off the list of things I could be excited about (which is so fucking stupid, but that’s how my mental blocks worked). When I saw myself with that big gay bow, it was set in stone, I needed them. It also ended up working out perfectly because I forgot to bring a hairband.
Kat struggles with showing affection in public out of fear of homophobia (not that we had much opportunity to while shepherding our kids around the park), but the ears let me show my gay pride another way, and I loved it.
Did I get some looks for it? Yeah, a little bit, but nothing vile, mostly just curiosity.
Did I get smiles from other gay couples in the park? Yes!
Did I get flirted with by a really cute redhead? Yup!
I feel like it was a great day of growth for me, as well as my entire family. We took a lot more photos than we’ve ever taken before on a DL visit, and I think that shows a lot of progress for both of us.