The photo on the left was taken Christmas day, 2016, two weeks before I came out as transgender to my wife. For a lot of my life I thought that the reason I hated my body so much was because I was fat. I tried to diet, but it never worked, I wanted to exercise, but I was too depressed go do it, so I just continued to gain weight. I wasn’t unhealthy, I had no difficulty getting around, but my body felt like a prison that I had to carry with me.
Until those fateful few days when I learned what transition could mean, I had never known that hormone therapy affected fat distribution. I believed that if I ever did transition I would still always look like a fat man. That was unacceptable to me, I couldn’t do it, so I stayed in the closet. It was seeing posts like this from other fat trans women that changed my mind.
Yes, there has been some weight loss between these photos, but it all happened before I started HRT, and it did nothing to make me look less male. I have remained at the same weight throughout my entire transition, and yet I dropped from a plus size 4X to now starting to fit into straight size XXL. My belly is HALF the size it used to be; it’s soft and squishy and curves inward when I lay on my back. I have a waist where none ever existed before! I have a butt that rocks and jiggles when when I walk. I can feel just how much more correct my body is shaped when I move, and it brings me so much joy.
I love my fat body now, because it wasn’t my fat that made me miserable, it was the shape that fat took.