I saw an article on Facebook that was a list of things that sociable introverts want you to know about their struggles. That’s not me, I’m the opposite, extremely extroverted (I am recharged by socializing, not drained) but loaded with crushing social anxiety. I felt inspired to write my own list, because people often think I’m introverted when I’m actually just anxious.

1. If I show up and the only people I know are engaged in conversations I can’t get into, I’ll probably just sit in the corner on my phone until I go home depressed. Please, engage with me! I’ll talk your ear off once the ice is broken.

2. If I’m quiet at first it isn’t because I don’t want to talk, its that I don’t know what to say, so I’m listening intently for points of engagement. Ask me questions.

3. I am starved for socialization, so I can’t stop, won’t stop. Tell me when you’re ready to end the night.

4. Once I get to know people, I open up like a book. If we’re hanging out with friends of yours that I don’t know, please take the time to encourage some shared experiences. I know it’s a lot of emotional labor, but it helps me so much, and I can carry the conversation once I’m integrated.

5. I can write amazing speeches, but standing up in front of a bunch of strangers to deliver it scares the shit out of me.

6. Please don’t get offended if I can’t remember your name. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s that I was too freaked out when you told me it to be able to remember.

7. Sometimes I get so excited by good conversation that I let too much guard down and might accidentally hurt someone’s feelings. I will probably then run away and cry. I’m sorry!

8. Please invite me to things, I’m too scared to ask!

9. ADHD Bonus Round: If your venue/setting is loud, I will be too overstimulated from sensory overload to be able to talk to anyone, and then probably won’t have a good time. Please take me to quiet places.